1/14 3 things

Trouser cut wide-leg dress pants, sweaters with buttons, apples.

1 word: Need

I've tried this so many times before. This writing of things down. The way I feel, what I want, my frustrations, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. I don't know why I never stick with it, but I do know I need it. Some nights the brain just won't turn off. I need to get it out. In the last few months I've written 2 real letters, to a real person to get some of it out. Now I don't really have anything to SAY to anyone per se. I need to probably. I need that part of the interaction, but maybe I just need to get it out. To say something, even if no one is listening. It reminds me of the new movie that is out right now called HER. It's about a man who falls in love with his operating system. People are saying it's crazy or stupid or not feasible. Am I crazy for thinking it actually IS feasible? That maybe sometimes it isn't about falling in love with someone, it's about falling in love with ourselves? About finding what it is inside of us worth sharing? Even if no one is there to really react? Isn't it about us sharing the high points of the day or the low points of the day or just the regular points of the day. Every day isn't going to be great. In fact, depending on where we are not many are going to be fantastic. In fact, every day might just royally suck. Until that point we figure out why it doesn't. Til we trick ourselves into knowing why it is good. Til we get over the pain and the frustration and the tiredness and the backaches. Then, as they say, it might get better. But in the midst of waiting, maybe what we need is just somewhere to put those feelings.

I'm going to try again on the happiness dividend. I'm going to try and remember 3 things I'm grateful for each day. I'm going to try and write for just two minutes each day the best part of my day. It probably won't be glamorous every time. But at least I'll be trying to look for it. And isn't that most of the battle anyway?

1/13 - Three Things

Christmas trees. Clean bathrooms. New flannel sheets.

Roar - 2 minutes

Left TEDxCrossroads in kind of a hurry. Just had a great talk about a lot of things I've been thinking about lately. Failure, not succeeding, waiting for something to happen, not sure what's up next. What's the next milestone? Got in the car to hear Katy Perry's ROAR on the radio. The only line I know is eye of the tiger, something something, but driving fast, on the highway after a not great day just because I can't get perspective it was that song that got me back to "life isn't all bad". Even looked up to see the little smiley face on my sunroof that reminded me of better days.

Day 4 of Gratitude

I'm getting really good at this once-a-week stuff. I usually try and post stuff from the day that I'm grateful for, but this time I'm going to use stuff from this weekend too:

fall weather- there was a bonfire down the street this weekend and it sure was fun in the nice weather. It was cool enough that we could see our breath, but by the fire it was absolutely perfect
last-minute tickets - went to the U.S. Men's National Team soccer game at Sporting Park this weekend. I didn't have a ticket until a friend got me one last minute on Thursday night at the pre-party. Definitely glad I went, had an awesome time and got to see Zusi score a goal at home!
cheese dip - it was my cousin's daughter's birthday party yesterday for the Chiefs' game and we had Mexican fiesta. Definitely my most favorite family meal and boy do I love cheese dip that gets made when we have them. Yummmmmm.

Day 3 of Gratitude

Maybe I should do this weekly instead of daily. I don't know why I have such problems doing this one little post each day. I write tons all day! Anyway, here it is:

Day 3:
soccer - even when my team is awful, and I get cranky when we lose, it is still good exercise. Plus, Sporting played tonight and they didn't lose, so that was nice
cheese- I love the Good Natured Family Farms white cheddar. I really do think I could eat a whole block all at one time.
babies - I don't have any, but the ones of friend's sure are fun. The one that visited last night sure was a cutie, even though she woke me up multiple times in the night. That's ok. She's a keeper.

Day 2 of Gratitude

These days might have to not be in order. It might just be that I post when I think about it because I am horrible about this lately.

Today:
mexican food - Chipotle for lunch. Enchiladas for dinner and tomorrow we're having Mexican too
cushy shoes - went for a long walk, I love wearing tennis shoes, much better than heels
chats with friends - hadn't talked to a friend in quite a while, had a 48 minute chat with her tonight to catch up.