Trust

If there is one thing that I want to be known for in my personal and professional life it is integrity. Defined as adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty, there really isn't much else that matters in any kind of relationship when it comes down to the bare bones of people interacting. 

In my personal life, I want my friends to be able to tell me what troubles they are having or share a secret without worrying about who will find out. I'm a naturally guarded person when it comes to some personal information. It is just the way I am. Sometimes I think it prevents me from really connecting with people, so I'm working on how to share some information and feelings that I have, without compromising the trust my friends have in me. 

As with any relationship, I trust the other person to be faithful, to communicate when something needs to be discussed and to treat me with the respect everyone deserves. 

In work, I do my best to exceed the expectations I believe those working with me have. I try to be transparent, even when something isn't going well. I try to promptly communicate any challenges and work hard to think processes through to ensure that it makes the most sense for the group with which I am working. I carefully balance the objectives given to me by my company with those programs or suggestions I believe most benefit the small businesses for which I work. Sometimes I don't pick the program that will make me the most money, I pick the one that will make the most sense. Sometimes I don't charge for my time that is devoted to following up time after time. Sometimes I work outside my normal hours to make sure my account is weathering a particularly difficult time. 

That's why today, when my integrity with regards to a work project was questioned I just got pissed. There really isn't any other way to describe it. I was livid. It was really best I found out right before going to lunch, so I had time to calm myself before spending more time on the account that had just questioned me. More time coddling, more time chasing and more time doing what I can to help this account make better choices when it comes to anything digital. 

This is just business, and in this day and age when no one knows who to trust or where information comes from, I'm trying to look at it from a different angle, to understand where the concern came from, to understand how I could have even put myself in a position to be questioned. I can't come up with much, but I have to step back and realize that all I can do is move forward with the same integrity as before, because giving anything less would be meeting expectations, and I always look to exceed them.

Change

This is no secret: Change is hard. But what is possibly worse is knowing for sure that change is coming and having NO IDEA what that means.
My director at work is leaving. He announced his retirement a few weeks ago, and in the interim, the rest of us collectively have no idea what is going to happen. We don't know who our next director will be, how 2013 will begin or what lies ahead in the immediate future.
Now, let's be real. None of us ever really know what lies in the future. That takes crystal balls and tarot cards and sometimes some divine intervention, and if you've got that, you're rich and on a beach in Tahiti or something.
I'm not very good with change and I'm even worse with uncertainty. I'm a pretty steadfast planner. I like to know what is going on, to the extent that it drives some of those close to me that I ask what's for dinner sometimes before I've even eaten breakfast. I can't very well go have a plate of pasta for lunch if I'm going to have lasagna for dinner now can I?
The significant difference in what I'm having for dinner and most situations of uncertainty is that I can control what I'm having for dinner. I can't control who my boss will be in a month. After lots of stress and significant frustration over the lack of control I've reached a moment of peace. Let it go. Revel in the uncertainty. Think of it is an adventure instead of a frustration and take a deep breath and enjoy the ride. Too much control makes one crazy and gives me a big head. Time to deflate a little and just accept whatever comes.

Perks of the Job

One of the perks of my job (there aren't a ton), is random tickets to Royals games. On Friday, the group sales manager brought me tickets to today's game against the Yankees. I called the only Yankee fan I know to see if he wanted to go to the game, but he couldn't because he already had two family events planned. Today is my parents' 34th wedding anniversary, and they decided they didn't want to go, so I invited some friends. Going to a game with these tickets is only slightly different than going and having to buy tickets. We got a parking pass and didn't get in the park til the top of the 2nd, but since it had poured rain this morning, the weather wasn't as hot as it was yesterday. We took our seats and admired the view. Not too shabby at all. The beers were still $9.50, but after settling in under cloudy skies, we only had to deal with a bit of hot sun. Sadly, we also had to deal with a 10-4 Yankees win, but that didn't diminish the fun had.